10 Reasons You're Addicted to Video Games

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  • Most people don't know when they've officially become addicted to the world of video games. Fortunately, we do. Here are some surefire signs to watch out for when determining if you or a loved one have a problem.

     

    10. Some random guy tells you daily to get off your ass and "pick up your shit." In earlier years, you referred to this man as Dad.

     

     

     

    9. After a long night of sex, you ... yeah right.

     

     

    8. You threatened to use a plasma sword on the fat secretary at the cable company because she wouldn't let you cancel every channel except G4.

     

     

    7. The only video game system you didn't own was Sega CD. And that's only because you're not a total fucking idiot.

     

     

    6. Your best friend is the assistant manager at Gamestop. Your second best friend is only known to you by his gamertag.

     

     

     

    5. The last vacation you took was to the outskirts of Liberty City.

     

     

    4. In an effort to get away from video games, you tried out for a local band looking for a dummer. The audition ended early when you showed up with Rock Band.

     

     

    3. You've masturbated to Cortana and Princess Rosalina. And once to Solid Snake just to see what it was like.

     

     

    2. AC Slater was your favorite character on Saved by the Bell simply because his real name is Mario.

     

     

     

    ...And the number one reason you're addicted to video games.

     

     

    1. The neighbors have called the police to report your death at least twice due to your persistent absense from the world combined with the God-awful smell coming from your asshole that you haven't cleaned in weeks.

     

     

    If more than 1 of these apply to you, you're probably addicted. If all of them do, go kill yourself.

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    Posted July 28th, 2008

    Category: Features,   Add to favorites

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